so i’m up all night chanting ‘vow i can’t break’”
i don’t have nearly that much resolve; i’m teetering on the edge of giving in and calling B. i don’t know. what am i supposed to do here? no one ever taught me how to get over someone, much less someone who i’m still madly in love with and who tells me he loves me and misses me but can’t be with me. nothing about that makes sense!
fittingly enough, the name of this song is ‘not over you yet.’ ha! but if i’m not over him after a month of silence and two weeks of tears, how can i ever be? it feels like a screwdriver is jabbing and twisting my intestines every time i hear his voice; but if i don’t endure that pain, how will i ever overcome it? if i keep him locked out of my life, he’ll stay frozen in my memory as the love of my life that i lost to fate and practicality and cold feet. i’ll forever regret not moving up to providence to be with him when i had the chance. and i’ll never forgive him for rescinding that chance when i was ready to take it. really, he may have been right—again, god i hate how he’s always right—that i need to keep him in my life in order to get over him.
or maybe i just want to hear him tell me he loves me once more.
