December 28, 2009

i cannot describe how depressing this is

right now, my parents are watching the same TV show—ANTIQUES ROADSHOW, no less—on separate couches, in separate rooms. they’re sitting about thirty feet from each other. dear god, baby jesus, buddha, WHOEVER: please don’t ever let this happen to me.

no, fuck that. i’m vowing, right here and now, that i will never let this happen to me. i promise, to my future self and my future partner (whoever and wherever you may be), that we won’t ever become one of those poor couples you feel sorry for in restaurants. stick with me, babe, and we’ll never be the dining dead.