December 21, 2009
“if you walk away, i’ll walk away
first tell me which road you will take
i don’t wanna risk our paths crossing someday
so you walk that way; i’ll walk this way”
– bright eyes

it’s been almost a month since we’ve spoken. i still miss you. since i last saw B.

i have to stop thinking like i’m talking to him; like he’s somehow going to stumble across this diary and recognize my words, and realize how heartbroken i still am. as if he’d see my sadness and be overcome with nostalgic grief. i can’t think like that, because it’s not ever going to happen. i have to keep walking away.

maybe i should stop doing stupid things, like wearing his sweater or listening to the mix CD we used to wake up to. but then he’ll really be completely gone from my life.

i’m not ready for that.